Hello dr. Nagler,
I'm Suzy, a 35 year old mom from the Netherlands. This will be a long one, sorry ;)
Your name quickly came up through Google when I first got tinnitus and now I found your Corner. I've been meaning to post a message here for a while, but felt embarrassed, because of how my tinnitus started on October 4th, 2018.
There was a very negative news item about tinnitus (about that young Dutch mother who chose euthanasia because of tinnitus) and then there was also a newspaper article...yet again very negative. I was already struggling emotionally at the time (I've been through A LOT in a short amount of time), so I was susceptible to God knows what.
I was having quite frequent fleeting tinnitus at the time, which made me absolutely terrified of those news articles. Then, on October 4th, my 2 year old son was crying (screaming) on my lap at night. I thought of those news articles and immediately felt panic.
After my son went to sleep, I went on my pc for a bit and for some reason the pc fan was bothering my hearing. Flashback, yet again, to those news articles. Panic attack set in, I hyperfocused on my hearing, put my fingers in my ears and heard tinnitus in my right ear. Panic, panic, panic.
Went to an ENT, had a hearing test and tympanometry, both came back normal. ENT was the usual horrible kind. Of course I went online after that and saw lots of horror stories. I quickly learned to avoid message boards like the plague. But I did see your name mentioned, Googled you and found out about TRT and read the book.
But here I am, 3 months later. Struggling so, so, so badly. I do start TRT with in ear generators on January 14th though.
The tinnitus started with only a whistle-y sound in my right ear, but now I also have a static ringing in my head ("the storm, as I call it), a buzz and a very high frequency sound (not a beep). It fluctuates immensely, both in sound and volume and is very reactive. And that causes me to feel total despair. I don't know how to habituate to something that fluctuates so severely?
My TRT specialist said it's a good sign that it fluctuates so much. Is this your experience as well?
The tinnitus reacts strongly to the TV, cooker hood, pc/laptop fan, car engine, hair dryer, etc. Quite a few sounds. That also makes sound enrichment at night difficult. I still have not been able to find a sound that goes well with the tinnitus. Any advice on that? Any apps you recommend? Am I doing something wrong? I know how important nighttime sound enrichment is in TRT, so this frustrates me. Every sound I try seems to give the tinnitus a sharp edge.
In your experience, does reactivity like this eventually come down over time?
That also instills worry in me regarding the TRT. Because white noise and pink noise from table top devices are not comfortable for my tinnitus. Is the sound in the in ear generators different? Can an audiologist tweak the sound to make it work well? I read it's more like a "shhhh" sound than actual white or pink noise?
The reason I decided to post on your Corner today is because this morning I got the diagnosis depression. That has been going on for a long time, way before the tinnitus. Losing a little one a few years ago was too much for me to handle, yet I never received mental help with that. Until now.
But as for the tinnitus, I'm starting EMDR later this month. To hopefully break or diminish that vicious cycle of fear. Do you have any experience with this? EMDR for tinnitus seems fairly new, started here in the Netherlands last year, with surprising results.
As for the depression, I don't know what to do. I'm open to antidepressants, but scared of tinnitus being a side effect. My family doctor is, so far, refusing to prescribe it to me because of that. And if I do go on medication, I don't know which one would be the best option, with tinnitus in mind? All I have at the moment is Oxazepam for the extra tough moments.
I have attached my audiogram. Just in case you notice anything specific about it that I should mention to my TRT specialist regarding the in ear generators, etc.
Apologies for the long story, dr. Nagler. I'm trying to work on my reaction and get on the right path to habituation.
The thing is, recently I feel like things are changing. I can't quite explain it though. Does that sound familiar to you? I'm still (clearly) depressed, but I don't avoid things quite so much anymore? Even now, I'm actually using my laptop to type all this to you. A month or two ago, I wouldn't have dared. But at the same time, I don't know if that is a good sign.
Thank you in advance and yet again, sorry for all my rambling 😉
I'm Suzy, a 35 year old mom from the Netherlands. This will be a long one, sorry ;)
Your name quickly came up through Google when I first got tinnitus and now I found your Corner. I've been meaning to post a message here for a while, but felt embarrassed, because of how my tinnitus started on October 4th, 2018.
There was a very negative news item about tinnitus (about that young Dutch mother who chose euthanasia because of tinnitus) and then there was also a newspaper article...yet again very negative. I was already struggling emotionally at the time (I've been through A LOT in a short amount of time), so I was susceptible to God knows what.
I was having quite frequent fleeting tinnitus at the time, which made me absolutely terrified of those news articles. Then, on October 4th, my 2 year old son was crying (screaming) on my lap at night. I thought of those news articles and immediately felt panic.
After my son went to sleep, I went on my pc for a bit and for some reason the pc fan was bothering my hearing. Flashback, yet again, to those news articles. Panic attack set in, I hyperfocused on my hearing, put my fingers in my ears and heard tinnitus in my right ear. Panic, panic, panic.
Went to an ENT, had a hearing test and tympanometry, both came back normal. ENT was the usual horrible kind. Of course I went online after that and saw lots of horror stories. I quickly learned to avoid message boards like the plague. But I did see your name mentioned, Googled you and found out about TRT and read the book.
But here I am, 3 months later. Struggling so, so, so badly. I do start TRT with in ear generators on January 14th though.
The tinnitus started with only a whistle-y sound in my right ear, but now I also have a static ringing in my head ("the storm, as I call it), a buzz and a very high frequency sound (not a beep). It fluctuates immensely, both in sound and volume and is very reactive. And that causes me to feel total despair. I don't know how to habituate to something that fluctuates so severely?
My TRT specialist said it's a good sign that it fluctuates so much. Is this your experience as well?
The tinnitus reacts strongly to the TV, cooker hood, pc/laptop fan, car engine, hair dryer, etc. Quite a few sounds. That also makes sound enrichment at night difficult. I still have not been able to find a sound that goes well with the tinnitus. Any advice on that? Any apps you recommend? Am I doing something wrong? I know how important nighttime sound enrichment is in TRT, so this frustrates me. Every sound I try seems to give the tinnitus a sharp edge.
In your experience, does reactivity like this eventually come down over time?
That also instills worry in me regarding the TRT. Because white noise and pink noise from table top devices are not comfortable for my tinnitus. Is the sound in the in ear generators different? Can an audiologist tweak the sound to make it work well? I read it's more like a "shhhh" sound than actual white or pink noise?
The reason I decided to post on your Corner today is because this morning I got the diagnosis depression. That has been going on for a long time, way before the tinnitus. Losing a little one a few years ago was too much for me to handle, yet I never received mental help with that. Until now.
But as for the tinnitus, I'm starting EMDR later this month. To hopefully break or diminish that vicious cycle of fear. Do you have any experience with this? EMDR for tinnitus seems fairly new, started here in the Netherlands last year, with surprising results.
As for the depression, I don't know what to do. I'm open to antidepressants, but scared of tinnitus being a side effect. My family doctor is, so far, refusing to prescribe it to me because of that. And if I do go on medication, I don't know which one would be the best option, with tinnitus in mind? All I have at the moment is Oxazepam for the extra tough moments.
I have attached my audiogram. Just in case you notice anything specific about it that I should mention to my TRT specialist regarding the in ear generators, etc.
Apologies for the long story, dr. Nagler. I'm trying to work on my reaction and get on the right path to habituation.
The thing is, recently I feel like things are changing. I can't quite explain it though. Does that sound familiar to you? I'm still (clearly) depressed, but I don't avoid things quite so much anymore? Even now, I'm actually using my laptop to type all this to you. A month or two ago, I wouldn't have dared. But at the same time, I don't know if that is a good sign.
Thank you in advance and yet again, sorry for all my rambling 😉
Category: Questions and Answers